Category Archives: poesía

What Spain Was Like

What Spain Was Like

“She knows, now, absolutely, hearing the white noise that is London, that Damien’s theory of jet lag is correct: that her mortal soul is leagues behind her, being reeled in on some ghostly umbilical down the vanished wake of the plane that brought her here, hundreds of thousands of feet above the Atlantic. Souls can’t move that quickly, and are left behind, and must be awaited, upon arrival, like lost luggage.”

- William Gibson, Pattern Recognition (full quote here)

Yesterday morning (relatively speaking, to my current sense of time), I got on a plane in Barcelona.  It flew out over the Mediterranean, which was spectacularly blue, and then turned sharply and went directly over Sitges, a town I had visited just days before.  I wept copiously with a great sense of loss as the plane went over the entire length of the Pyrenees, until reached the Bay of Biscay and turned over the Atlantic, towards Philadephia.

I am presently too tired, too soul-lagged to tell you about it.  Indeed I may never getting around to writing a narrative of it, but I promise lots and lots of pictures as soon as I get all 500+ of them sorted and tagged and all that modern day nonsense that allows me to foist my living room vacation slide show on you.  For now my soul is still somewhere over the Pyrenees, perhaps, still dreaming of the Mediterranean.


What Spain Was Like

Spain was a taut, dry drum-head
Daily beating a dull thud
Flatlands and eagle’s nest
Silence lashed by the storm.
How much, to the point of weeping, in my soul
I love your hard soil, your poor bread,
Your poor people, how much in the deep place
Of my being there is still the lost flower
Of your wrinkled villages, motionless in time
And your metallic meadows
Stretched out in the moonlight through the ages,
Now devoured by a false god.

All your confinement, your animal isolation
While you are still conscious
Surrounded by the abstract stones of silence,
Your rough wine, your smooth wine
Your violent and dangerous vineyards.

Solar stone, pure among the regions
Of the world, Spain streaked
With blood and metal, blue and victorious
Proletarian Spain, made of petals and bullets
Unique, alive, asleep – resounding.

- Pablo Neruda

Where do you get off?

Where do you get off?

This is a writing exercise that I enjoyed reading here and I guess came from here.  I’ve been trying to poke my inner writing bear with a stick and it seems to want to remain in hibernation, so I’m looking for a bigger stick.

Where I Am From

I am from cherry blossoms and eternal hope for spring that always comes in its own time.

I am from riot grrrls and evergreen trees as big as you’ll ever see.

I am from fuck your fashion flannel shirt, this is to keep me warm.

I am from Protestant work ethic and self medication.

I am from science fiction and comic books aren’t for girls and screw your preconceptions.

I am from latch key kids and riding your bike miles with no adults around, tree forts and rope swings and how did we live to adulthood?

I am from Buddhism and Astrology, Catholicism and Lutheranism, the Golden Rule and actions speak louder than words.

I am from the train platform, the bus station, the airport, the gas station, the spot where we set out for our next great adventure.

I am from there is a template for this writing exercise and I couldn’t be bothered to read all of it let alone follow it.

I am from the land of high mountains and grey skies, damp chill and long, long summer days, winters where the green never dies.

I am from strawberries my grandfather picked with me after growing them in the soil he tended so well my whole life.

I am from men who build things, fix things and fight for what they believe in.

I am from women stronger and smarter than you, powerfully hard role models to live up to.

I am from places where I only sleep well if I can hear the traffic or the trains.

I am from revolutions, protests and riots, candlelight vigils and memorial marches, hands across America.

I am from an era where being different was king and still I was never the right kind of different.

I am from the edge where punk rock meets pop music and folk music shakes hands with soul.

I am from reading banned books and buying music for minors.

I am from putting aside my loneliness and pain to take time to listen to yours.

I am from white hat hackers and I’ll give you my money but you can keep your DRM.

I am from you can’t have sex on a stack of ereaders but I carry mine with me anyhow.

I am from sisters, both born and made.

I am from snickerdoodles, fattigman and lefse, mashed potatoes better than you’ve ever eaten and hamburgers that might break your teeth.

I am from the Monastery, the Underground, the Off Ramp and the Crocodile.

I am from if I could have dinner with anyone, living or dead, in all of history, I pick my mom and my sisters.

I am from music that transports you, transforms you and stays with you forever, even when its meaning changes for you.

I am from broken hearts and dashed dreams and princes who never showed up to rescue me.  Where I am from girls don’t need rescuing anyway, besides you’d just do it wrong.

I am from an artist and a scientist, a carpenter and a cook.

I am from long childhood summer afternoons spent in the dark stock room of a shoe store imagining owning Nikes with every stripe color possible.

I am from if you build it they will come and when they don’t show up just keep building anyway.

I am from the more cousins you have, the more joy you have.

I am from stitching my own clothes for the satisfaction of it and to honor my grandmother every time I lay hand to cloth.

I am from writing poetry you’ll never see, scratching out thousands of words you may never read and never stopping because if I don’t pull this all out of my head it will make me (more) crazy.

I am from promising more than I can ever produce and trying to please you no matter what.

I am from far away, a place I can never show you, a place that no longer exists anywhere but inside me.  My own homeland is lost to me and I never glimpsed the farther away homeland of my ancestors.

Some salty goodness and some bitter horror

Some salty goodness and some bitter horror

There is not ever enough poetry in the world.  Here is some for your (hopefully) warm spring day:

BIRD

It was passed from one bird to another,
the whole gift of the day.
The day went from flute to flute,
went dressed in vegetation,
in flights which opened a tunnel
through the wind would pass
to where birds were breaking open
the dense blue air -
and there, night came in.

When I returned from so many journeys,
I stayed suspended and green
between sun and geography -
I saw how wings worked,
how perfumes are transmitted
by feathery telegraph,
and from above I saw the path,
the springs and the roof tiles,
the fishermen at their trades,
the trousers of the foam;
I saw it all from my green sky.
I had no more alphabet
than the swallows in their courses,
the tiny, shining water
of the small bird on fire
which dances out of the pollen.

- Pablo Neruda

♦♦♦

I have BIG plans for the 3-day weekend.  I don’t know what they are yet as the first thing on my to-do list for this evening is ‘make plans for the weekend,’ but I bet they will be great.  Hopefully they will involve home organizing/cleaning, sewing sewing sewing (embroidery included in this category), sleeping perhaps more than would seem normal for a human being, walking around in the out of doors (cicadas might limit this),  talking to my mom on the phone and generally relaxing and pretending the world doesn’t exist.  I will probably watch P.S. I Love You as an emotional outlet (and because it’s a good movie).  I will hopefully have plenty of time to read Deathless because so far I am enjoying it immensely (it’s like poetry in it’s own way).

What I will not be doing is work, returning your phone calls (unless you’re my mom or sister), or sewing anything that looks like this:

I did include a link in case you want to sew it.  But I will think less of you if you do.  I’m fascinated with it, like a horror movie you can’t look away from.

April is surely not the cruelest month, everyone knows that’s February

April is surely not the cruelest month, everyone knows that’s February

April begins BIRTHDAY MONTH.  I would love to say it’s all a celebration of me, from beginning to end, but indeed many of my most loved friends share this month for their own celebrations.  I’d say a good dozen or so of you are already, or gearing up to celebrate your own births.  Let’s all do it together!  HOORAY!

The April birthstone is diamond and the flower is Sweet Pea. Which seem some how at odds with each other.  Like at what point is someone going to be like, ‘say, baby, I got you some diamonds and this Sweet Pea bouquet’? It seems simultaneously weird and actually just like something I’d want, so maybe it does make sense for April after all.  Though I prefer amethysts to diamonds, partly over the whole blood diamond and hideous over hype of them and mostly because everyone knows anything purple is superior to anything else!

March has wound down being grim and grey, despite some thrilling spring sun there in the middle and I have high hopes for April. A little more sun and fewer days I have to put on gloves in the morning to keep my hands from stiffening up on the drive to work.

April also brings an awesome surprise visit from my cousins at the beginning, a long anticipated visited from good friends at the middle and my birthday at the end, so I surely couldn’t ask for more goodness from this month!  It should be calm, wonderful, joyous friends and family love all the way through!  Everyone should have a month like this occasionally.

April is also National Poetry Month for which I shall share some of the poems I carry around in my handbag at all times:

Three Crepuscular Poems
Federico García Lorca

[1]
The evening is
penitent,
still dreaming about
noon.
(Red trees & clouds
over the hills.)
The evening, loosening green
lyric hair,
is gently trembling
… vexed
to be the evening having once been
noon.

[2]
Now the evening starts!
Why? Why?
… just now
I watched the day droop down
just like a morning flower.
A day lily
bending its stems
… just now …
the roots of evening
rising through the gloom.

[3]
Adiós, sun!

I know for sure that you’re the moon,
but I
won’t tell nobody,
sun.

You sneak
behind the curtain
& cover your face
with rice powder.

By day, the farmhand’s
guitar,
by night, Pierrot’s
mandolin.

I should care!

Your illusion,
sun, is to make
the garden
turn Technicolor.

Adiós, sun!

And don’t you forget who loves you:
the snail,
the little old lady
on her balcony,
& me …
spinning my heart like a …
top.

Start at the beginning of time

Start at the beginning of time

Happy New Year!  It’s 1-1-11, so I am calling it a new beginning.  As with so many beginnings I have no idea where the end will be.  I am going to try and not burden myself with too many resolutions, too many stumbling blocks to trip me up if I fail at them.  Instead I will simply say that I am determined to end 2011 in a better place than I am beginning it.

And in the course of that I hope to exercise more, sew more, learn more about sewing, read more, sleep more, and smile more.  And, you know, floss regularly.

In lieu of anything deep or meaningful to say in my own words, I’ll start the year with some of my favorite poetry.  Frederico Garcia Lorca:

Clock Echo

I sat down
in a clearing in time.
It was a pool of silence.
White silence.
Incredible ring
where the bright stars collide
with a dozen floating
black numbers.

First/Last Meditation

Time
is in night’s colors.
Quiet night.
Over enormous moons,
eternity
is set at twelve.
Time’s gone to sleep
forever
in his tower.
All clocks
deceive us.
Time at last has
horizons.

gathering the pieces

gathering the pieces

maters!

Cherokee Purple is my favorite. The weather hasn’t been great for them this year, but seriously, Tennessee has the best tomatoes I have ever eaten.  So many kinds.  So much deliciousness.

This cracks me up so much:  It landed only on you.

I can’t really guess how much these are manipulated, but these shots of Barcelona are INCREDIBLE!    Especially this fantastic shot from one of my favorite vantage points in the city on Montjuic.    I lost a good part of my morning to these pictures.  They are like perfect images of the fairytale Barcelona that exists in my head.  Or the Barcelona of The Shadow of the Wind.

The smocking on this dress is fantastic.  I doubt I’ll ever be that much of a seamstress. But wow, wouldn’t it be amazing to create something like that?

Emily on Poetry Daily.    Fantastic (both the poem and Emily).

Oddly enough I get a bunch of joy from this anti-drunk driving/speeding campaign: We’ll Be Everywhere, Man. Oh, Tennessee, never change.  (that link is the Windows version, click here for Quicktime.)

if only it could be reconstructed by the sea

if only it could be reconstructed by the sea

Ode to Broken Things

Things get broken
at home
like they were pushed
by an invisible, deliberate smasher.
It’s not my hands
or yours
It wasn’t the girls
with their hard fingernails
or the motion of the planet.
It wasn’t anything or anybody
It wasn’t the wind
It wasn’t the orange-colored noontime
Or night over the earth
It wasn’t even the nose or the elbow
Or the hips getting bigger
or the ankle
or the air.
The plate broke, the lamp fell
All the flower pots tumbled over
one by one. That pot
which overflowed with scarlet
in the middle of October,
it got tired from all the violets
and another empty one
rolled round and round and round
all through winter
until it was only the powder
of a flowerpot,
a broken memory, shining dust.

And that clock
whose sound
was
the voice of our lives,
the secret
thread of our weeks,
which released
one by one, so many hours
for honey and silence
for so many births and jobs,
that clock also
fell
and its delicate blue guts
vibrated
among the broken glass
its wide heart
unsprung.

Life goes on grinding up
glass, wearing out clothes
making fragments
breaking down
forms
and what lasts through time
is like an island on a ship in the sea,
perishable
surrounded by dangerous fragility
by merciless waters and threats.

Let’s put all our treasures together
– the clocks, plates, cups cracked by the cold –
into a sack and carry them
to the sea
and let our possessions sink
into one alarming breaker
that sounds like a river.
May whatever breaks
be reconstructed by the sea
with the long labor of its tides.
So many useless things
which nobody broke
but which got broken anyway.

- Pablo Neruda
translated by Jodey Bateman

carrying myself in the light of hidden flowers

carrying myself in the light of hidden flowers

Sonnet XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn’t bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I know no other way

than this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

– Pablo Neruda

Green, how I want you green

Green, how I want you green

Romance Sonambulo

Green, how I want you green.
Green wind. Green branches.
The ship out on the sea
and the horse on the mountain.
With the shade around her waist
she dreams on her balcony,
green flesh, her hair green,
with eyes of cold silver.
Green, how I want you green.
Under the gypsy moon,
all things are watching her
and she cannot see them.

Green, how I want you green.
Big hoarfrost stars
come with the fish of shadow
that opens the road of dawn.
The fig tree rubs its wind
with the sandpaper of its branches,
and the forest, cunning cat,
bristles its brittle fibers.
But who will come? And from where?
She is still on her balcony
green flesh, her hair green,
dreaming in the bitter sea.

–My friend, I want to trade
my horse for her house,
my saddle for her mirror,
my knife for her blanket.
My friend, I come bleeding
from the gates of Cabra.
–If it were possible, my boy,
I’d help you fix that trade.
But now I am not I,
nor is my house now my house.
–My friend, I want to die
decently in my bed.
Of iron, if that’s possible,
with blankets of fine chambray.
Don’t you see the wound I have
from my chest up to my throat?
–Your white shirt has grown
thirsy dark brown roses.
Your blood oozes and flees a
round the corners of your sash.
But now I am not I,
nor is my house now my house.
–Let me climb up, at least,
up to the high balconies;
Let me climb up! Let me,
up to the green balconies.
Railings of the moon
through which the water rumbles.

Now the two friends climb up,
up to the high balconies.
Leaving a trail of blood.
Leaving a trail of teardrops.
Tin bell vines
were trembling on the roofs.
A thousand crystal tambourines
struck at the dawn light.

Green, how I want you green,
green wind, green branches.
The two friends climbed up.
The stiff wind left
in their mouths, a strange taste
of bile, of mint, and of basil
My friend, where is she–tell me–
where is your bitter girl?
How many times she waited for you!
How many times would she wait for you,
cool face, black hair,
on this green balcony!
Over the mouth of the cistern
the gypsy girl was swinging,
green flesh, her hair green,
with eyes of cold silver.
An icicle of moon
holds her up above the water.
The night became intimate
like a little plaza.
Drunken “Guardias Civiles”
were pounding on the door.
Green, how I want you green.
Green wind. Green branches.
The ship out on the sea.
And the horse on the mountain.

–  Federico García Lorca
(Translated by William Logan)

Pinned by the sun between solstice and equinox

Pinned by the sun between solstice and equinox

Drunk as Drunk

Drunk as drunk on turpentine
From your open kisses,
Your wet body wedged
Between my wet body and the strake
Of our boat that is made of flowers,
Feasted, we guide it – our fingers
Like tallows adorned with yellow metal -
Over the sky’s hot rim,
The day’s last breath in our sails.

Pinned by the sun between solstice
And equinox, drowsy and tangled together
We drifted for months and woke
With the bitter taste of land on our lips,
Eyelids all sticky, and we longed for lime
And the sound of a rope
Lowering a bucket down its well. Then,
We came by night to the Fortunate Isles,
And lay like fish
Under the net of our kisses.

– Pablo Neruda

it’s sprung

it’s sprung

I just saw my first Summer Tanager of the season.  Spring spring spring spring spring spring. There is also a clutch of brave daffodils in my side yard and buds on the dogwood.  Yet I think, for some reason, that birds know some secret of the impending season that flowers don’t.

In honor of that, I give you a poem:

Her Anxiety

Earth in beauty dressed
Awaits returning spring.
All true love must die,
Alter at the best
Into some lesser thing.
Prove that I lie.

Such body lovers have,
Such exacting breath,
That they touch or sigh.
Every touch they give,
Love is nearer death.
Prove that I lie.

–William Butler Yeats

Also in honor of spring, new header pic yanked off Flickr, pic by lumierefl.

Also how charming is this little guy?

the flashy green of kind deeds done

the flashy green of kind deeds done

The Plaid Dress

Strong sun, that bleach
The curtains of my room, can you not render
Colourless this dress I wear?—
This violent plaid
Of purple angers and red shames; the yellow stripe
Of thin but valid treacheries; the flashy green of kind deeds done
Through indolence high judgments given here in haste;
The recurring checker of the serious breach of taste?

No more uncoloured than unmade,
I fear, can be this garment that I may not doff;
Confession does not strip it off,
To send me homeward eased and bare;

All through the formal, unoffending evening, under the clean
Bright hair,
Lining the subtle gown…it is not seen,
But it is there.

- Edna St. Vincent Millay

Oh yes, like that

Oh yes, like that

Poem XIV

Every day you play with the light of the universe.
Subtle visitor, you arrive in the flower and the water.
You are more than this white head that I hold tightly
as a cluster of fruit, every day, between my hands.

You are like nobody since I love you.
Let me spread you out among yellow garlands.
Who writes your name in letters of smoke among the stars of the south?
Oh let me remember you as you were before you existed.

Suddenly the wind howls and bangs at my shut window.
The sky is a net crammed with shadowy fish.
Here all the winds let go sooner or later, all of them.
The rain takes off her clothes.

The birds go by, fleeing.
The wind. The wind.
I can contend only against the power of men.
The storm whirls dark leaves
and turns loose all the boats that were moored last night to the sky.

You are here. Oh, you do not run away.
You will answer me to the last cry.
Cling to me as though you were frightened.
Even so, at one time a strange shadow ran through your eyes.

Now, now too, little one, you bring me honeysuckle,
and even your breasts smell of it.
While the sad wind goes slaughtering butterflies
I love you, and my happiness bites the plum of your mouth.

How you must have suffered getting accustomed to me, my savage, solitary soul, my name that sends them all running.
So many times we have seen the morning star burn, kissing our eyes,
and over our heads the gray light unwind in turning fans.

My words rained over you, stroking you.
A long time I have loved the sunned mother-of-pearl of your body.
I go so far as to think that you own the universe.
I will bring you happy flowers from the mountains, bluebells,
dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses.

I want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.

- Pablo Neruda
(translated by W.S. Merwin)

It’s all beautiful, as is almost everything Neruda writes, but man, it’s the last line that gets me here:
Quiero hacer contigo lo que la primavera hace con los cerezos.   *swoon*

lucky me

lucky me

luck

what’s bad about all
this
is watching people
drinking coffee and
waiting. I would
douse them all
with luck. they need
it. they need it
worse than I do.

I sit in cages
and watch them
waiting. I suppose
there’s not much
else to do. the
flies walk up and
down the windows
and we drink our
coffee and pretend
not to look at
each other. I
wait with them.
between the move-
ment of the flies
people walk by.

- Charles Bukowski

pretty girl on a stair

pretty girl on a stair

Poem for today.  Though the title is Italian for ‘The Weeping Girl,’ I find this one of Eliot’s most beautiful poems.  The imagery in it astounds me.  It makes me both painfully sad and utterly awed by the beauty in the world.  So much beauty!  Mmmm, sunlight in hair.

La Figlia Che Piange

O quam te memorem, Virgo …

Stand on the highest pavement of the stair–
Lean on a garden urn–
Weave, weave the sunlight in your hair–
Clasp your flowers to you with a pained surprise–
Fling them to the ground and turn
With a fugitive resentment in your eyes:
But weave, weave the sunlight in your hair.

So I would have had him leave,
So I would have had her stand and grieve,
So he would have left
As the soul leaves the body torn and bruised,
As the mind deserts the body it has used.
I should find
Some way incomparably light and deft,
Some way we both should understand,
Simple and faithless as a smile and shake of the hand.

She turned away, but with the autumn weather
Compelled my imagination many days,
Many days and many hours:
Her hair over her arms and her arms full of flowers.
And I wonder how they should have been together!
I should have lost a gesture and a pose.
Sometimes these cogitations still amaze
The troubled midnight and the noon’s repose.

- T.S. Eliot

again and again

again and again

I have posted this various places over the years, but I can’t repost it enough.  It’s just too beautiful.

Sonnet XI

I crave your mouth, your voice, your hair.
Silent and starving, I prowl through the streets.
Bread does not nourish me, dawn disrupts me, all day
I hunt for the liquid measure of your steps.

I hunger for your sleek laugh,
your hands the color of a savage harvest,
hunger for the pale stones of your fingernails,
I want to eat your skin like a whole almond.

I want to eat the sunbeam flaring in your lovely body,
the sovereign nose of your arrogant face,
I want to eat the fleeting shade of your lashes,

and I pace around hungry, sniffing the twilight,
hunting for you, for your hot heart,
like a puma in the barrens of Quitratue.

- Pablo Neruda

Hooray Say the Roses

Hooray Say the Roses

by Charles Bukowski

hooray say the roses, today is blamesday
and we are red as blood.

hooray say the roses, today is Wednesday
and we bloom where soldiers fell
and lovers too,
and the snake at the word.

hooray say the roses, darkness comes
all at once, like lights gone out,
the sun leaves dark continents
and rows of stone.

hooray say the roses, cannons and spires,
birds, bees, bombers, today is Friday
the hand holding a medal out the window,
a moth going by, half a mile an hour,
hooray hooray
hooray say the roses
we have empires on our stems,
the sun moves the mouth:
hooray hooray hooray
and that is why you like us.